Back to Normal... i'm trying

I ate heartily and joked alot. Things seem to be normal n me back to my normal self. Always cheerful n laughing. However deep down i know tat my heart is still very heavy. I am still unable to let go. Perhaps wat he said is rite. My ego is punctured, my heart is broken n i am totally clueless. The combination of these will result in 2 possibilities. Either i become stronger or i become wasted. He told me tat i have to break out from this event. Let it go n become stronger. Otherwise, my life will go from back to worse.

I realized these days i have neglected my work n my face tells people ard me how i'm feeling. I also realized tat if i continue to do wat i am doin, it juz proves tat her decision to leave is right. I have to change, change for the better. Make her realize tat her decision to leave me is wrong. Then again, if we are still together, i may not be wat i will be in the future.

I told myself to let it go. It is not goin to be easy. Putting in the whole of my heart slowly and having to remove it all at once. Though in the eyes of others, i am in no wrong but deep down i know tat i have my faults too. As i said before, a failure of a r/s is always due to 2 parties. It cant be juz one.

Everyday my mind is still abt her. When i'm free i want to sms or call her. When i see her on msn i wan to msn her. But i know if i do all these, there is no way i can let her go. I need to control my emotions and let her go. Maybe one day she will return, maybe she will not. But i know when her love for me will dissipate slowly n day by day. My wait for her will be fruitless but at the moment i guess my best move is to wait n be there whenever she needs me. Bury myself with work is wat i will do. Hopefully i will grow out from this.